Cold-Can Activated Bull$&@!

I am getting sick of beer commercials.

Now, to be fair: I am not the target audience for these products (or ESPN, the channel I tend to see them on most frequently). I am also an unapologetic feminist who can often make the jump onto her soapbox too quickly. And I also recognize that these commercials are working, since I remember them and am reacting to their content. Grr, advertising.

Take this one:


They seem to be a couple that has been together a while (she treats the words "why do you love me?" pretty casually, suggesting the "L" word is part of their vernacular) and says without hesitation at the end that this bumbling beer-loving idiot is her "soulmate" (before putting on a grumpy hurt-feelings face). And yet he can only respond with her hair and her teeth?

Or this one:


The couple is enjoying a lovely evening out, laughing and talking. She decides this is the most opportune moment to tell him how she feels about him--clearly she should work on her timing, but that's another story--finds it cute that he's having trouble saying it back, then is able to order his beer with the sought-after L word. He compliments her appearance at the end, instead, and she merely gives him an "are you serious?" face.

The list could go on. The Coors Light "cold activated can" one where the beautiful black woman has gone to great lengths to create a romantic setting, complete with sexy lingerie, and when asked if her partner "likes what he sees" he goes gaga over the cans in the fridge. The new Miller Lite one where we watch a series of images suggesting that a couple is in love, that the guy has "found The One" and instead of it being his gorgeous girlfriend, it's the new Vortex bottle. The one in which the girlfriend has come up with a series of inane questions regarding who her boyfriend would save from a cliff's edge--Buster, his bulldog, and his own mother lose out--but he'd save his beer instead of her. (This says nothing of the light beer commercials in which the male subject is told to "man up" or "not get his panties in a bunch" as if caring about your caloric content is worthy of having your heterosexuality challenged.)

So ha ha, we're all supposed to sit and watch these ads during the breaks during SportsCenter or College Game Day and laugh and say "oh, how cute. Men love their beer more than their romantic partners!" and giggle and then go get a case of the new and improved can/bottle or gasp! the new quasi keg-for-your-fridge. Or, of course, get up off the couch and go get one from the fridge having already fallen victim to their nefarious marketing ploys. (Seriously--how many ridiculous ways can they improve beer? Crappy beer at that?)

Seriously?

They reinforce the stereotypes that men cannot (nor should not) be able to express their emotions, and that it's acceptable when they don't or can't. Only the girl in the "me or Buster?" example gets up and leaves him at the table (after which of course he mocks her to said dog). They also portray women as being emotionally needy ("tell me why you love me!" "Would you save me over your dog from a cliff?"), though why wanting or needing the occasional moment of romantic affirmation is hardly something to feel ashamed about. In addition to being insulting to women, it's insulting to men. These commercials make them look stupid--really? You didn't notice the strewn rose petals and candles?--mean, and uncaring.

As my friends will attest, I have a "thing" for frat brothers, guys' guys who wear baseball hats, watch sports, and play beer pong with their friends. I have a generalized crush on the target audience for these infuriating commercials. If the Ad Men for MillerBuschCoorsHeineken are to be taken at face value, then I should expect nothing more from this sub sector of the male population than for them to be emotionally stunted. I think it's sad and pathetic and that both women and men should expect more.